The other day I was driving home from a friends house and I was hit with some pretty intense pain. It was bad enough that I called my friend and said I will call you when I get home safe.
During that long drive scary drive I thought,not for the first time, "Just a day Lord one day without pain" I am in some kind of pain almost everyday of my life. If it is not my abdomen is my knee or a wicked headache. Most days it is all three.
I try so hard to keep up with life and push myself beyond my limits to do the things that need to be done and the things I want to do. I mask it as best as I can. Most days I am really feeling rather cranky and my level of comfort is very low. I try to endure with grace and be in the best mood I can muster. It does take it's toll after awhile. I reach a point where I just feel like I can't go on. I break down and cry and pray for it all to stop. Other days I am ok and understand that God has a reason for this. I need to endure this because it is part of his plan and he will use it for good somewhere along the line.
Well the other day I just lost it and I prayed so hard for just a day without pain. I prayed for it to all be over for him to call me home and not make me endure this any more.
I woke up the next day with a splitting head ache and my knee ached and I had sharp shooting pains in my stomach. I thanked God for the day and asked for the strength to make it through the day.
This morning I woke up and I found myself singing in the shower, I was in a great mood. I thought to myself wow I feel well rested, even though I stayed up way later then I should have. It struck me like a ton of bricks, I wasn't in any pain. Not my head or my knee or my abdomen. This day has been a true blessing, an answer to pray. I enjoyed today so much I didn't want it to end. After youth I enjoyed a simple dinner with a friend and wasn't struggling to focus on what was being said because my mind was on the pain. I am grateful for the friend who came out and enjoyed the dinner with me, I was in such a good mood, I felt like myself, I didn't want the day to end and just go home. I wanted to stay out a bit and enjoy it. I did, it was wonderful.
I don't know how long my respite will last but I am truly grateful for today. One day without pain is just such an amazing and joyous thing for me. I don't know if anyone can truly understand what today meant to me. I pray my respite is longer, but if it is not, I am just grateful for God's gift of today.
During that long drive scary drive I thought,not for the first time, "Just a day Lord one day without pain" I am in some kind of pain almost everyday of my life. If it is not my abdomen is my knee or a wicked headache. Most days it is all three.
I try so hard to keep up with life and push myself beyond my limits to do the things that need to be done and the things I want to do. I mask it as best as I can. Most days I am really feeling rather cranky and my level of comfort is very low. I try to endure with grace and be in the best mood I can muster. It does take it's toll after awhile. I reach a point where I just feel like I can't go on. I break down and cry and pray for it all to stop. Other days I am ok and understand that God has a reason for this. I need to endure this because it is part of his plan and he will use it for good somewhere along the line.
Well the other day I just lost it and I prayed so hard for just a day without pain. I prayed for it to all be over for him to call me home and not make me endure this any more.
I woke up the next day with a splitting head ache and my knee ached and I had sharp shooting pains in my stomach. I thanked God for the day and asked for the strength to make it through the day.
This morning I woke up and I found myself singing in the shower, I was in a great mood. I thought to myself wow I feel well rested, even though I stayed up way later then I should have. It struck me like a ton of bricks, I wasn't in any pain. Not my head or my knee or my abdomen. This day has been a true blessing, an answer to pray. I enjoyed today so much I didn't want it to end. After youth I enjoyed a simple dinner with a friend and wasn't struggling to focus on what was being said because my mind was on the pain. I am grateful for the friend who came out and enjoyed the dinner with me, I was in such a good mood, I felt like myself, I didn't want the day to end and just go home. I wanted to stay out a bit and enjoy it. I did, it was wonderful.
I don't know how long my respite will last but I am truly grateful for today. One day without pain is just such an amazing and joyous thing for me. I don't know if anyone can truly understand what today meant to me. I pray my respite is longer, but if it is not, I am just grateful for God's gift of today.
posted by Chris | 10:09 PM
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