Sort of surprised to realize that I am not angry about my friend dyeing. I am sad but the anger the would go along with some one so young passing is not there. I think in a way when I heard just after Thanksgiving that the cancer had spread and the brain was now involved, I knew there wasn't much time left and I was angry then. The random bursts of anger that would occasional erupt during the holidays was from me processing this loss before it even happened.

I had heard enough and learned enough working for a hospice I knew how it was going to go. I was angry then. Real angry and depressed. Having hit the point where I can talk about it and how I feel. I am past the random tears and have accepted that she is gone. There is nothing that can be done to bring her back. I pray for her family and I trust that God knew her heart better then I did.

He is in control. She was never alone. There wasn't anything I could have done if I had been there.