silence

The silence is deafening. I know God is there but I can't feel him or hear him. It's like something in me, in my chemical make up is blocking me from reaching God, and from God reaching me.

I know I should reach out to my friends but really I can't I don't want to. I am afraid to. I don't know what it is I am afraid of. I tried embracing God in the silence. I tried praying and reaching out with my heart. Now I am trying to fill the silence. Fill it with any sound at all.