I am so frustrated!! With myself for how I am feeling, and with one particular thing that has been going on. Now there is an added hurt to the already big hurt. From different sorces but, you know, hurt is hurt.

All I want to do is cry, I don't feel merry, I don't feel joy, all I feel is sad and angry. What a way to spend the Christmas holiday. I want to curl up and not wake up till Christmas is over. I have tried so hard to put myself in the spirit; the tree is up and everything. A friend is about to pick me up and make me finish my shopping.

I just don't want to go, I want to stay home and not be around anyone. I have forced myself to go out and be social when I don't want to.

None of it is helping, all I want for Christmas is a good cry and to be left alone.