Who am I...

I do not know the answer to this question anymore. How I defined myself was that of a victim. I had a right to be after all, I had been one, and I had a right to protect myself. Didn’t I? I looked out at the world from my shattered place, being very careful to never let in anyone and never venture out. Slowly, painfully, and carefully with his loving hands God has been healing me.
From there to here is a very long road that took many years to travel. His first step was to teach me that Psalm 139 is for me too. He doesn't love the rest of the world and not me. He loves me and I am worthy of his love.
Last week God made an appointment for me. He basically said it is time for you to take the next big step. He arranged the most amazing talk for me. I heard the words "I gave up my right to be a victim and that was freeing for me." Until that moment I had not realized what I was doing. I was not living my life I merely existed, protecting myself from ever being hurt again.
During the last few days I have changed. I have changed on the inside. This does not mean my road has ended I am not "cured", but I have changed. I am writing again, the writer’s block appears to be gone. The process of writing has allowed me to surrender being a victim.
I feel, for the first time, not like I am looking out from my shattered place, but stepping out from my shattered place. I have peace in my heart. I know this journey will not be easy, but I also know that God has me. I am human, I am sure I will get in his way. For those of you who are reading this and consider yourself a good friend if you see me forgetting to turn to him. Feel free to apply a little truth in love