Been amongst the missing

I have not felt moved to write much over the past few months. I have been doing a lot of thinking that someday will be translated into writing. I did very well in my class and my grade is a very sound A. I am proud of that.

This holiday season was not really a happy one. There where a bunch of things that impacted it. I did learn that I am not happy being invisible in my own family and I pray next year I will have the courage to spend the time with those who love me and not with my family. I keep telling myself that I am doing the right thing by going to these family functions. Now I am wondering exactly how it is the right thing to go there and be treated the way I am treated.

Christmas eve was wonderful. I spent the day with a family helping to prepare for the company that would be coming that night. The only draw back was I was ready for bed by 8pm and had to leave prior to the 11pm service so I would not fall asleep on the way home. For that one day I felt part of a family and I felt secure in the love of those I was with. I was happy.

I realized a few things as this year has come to an end. Recently a friend and I have had some difficulties working together and we where angry with each other. What I realized is that I still trust that friend to love me. This person is part of my Christian family and we will talk out the problems but that the solid core of the friendship is not damaged and we will still be there for each other and our families. I had not realized the depth of my trust in this relationship until then. A lost friendship did not wound me to the point of holding others at bay. Instead I allowed others to come closer. God is amazing, I don't know how he got me to learn this lesson and to break this pattern of my past but I did.

Maybe my wanting to write this today is a sign I will be a little less silent, who knows. I have always been like this. I sit back and think about things for awhile then after I have spent the quiet time I have tons to write but while the ideas are rolling around my heart has nothing to write.

Happy New Year May this year be blessed for us all

Hype

Over the past few years, there have been several "New and Best" evangelical tools for reaching non-believers in the spot light. A ton of Hype went into a few movies and a few books. There was the hype over "Passion" and the movie based on C.S. Lewis "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe". Cloud Ten productions hyped up "Left Behind: World at War" by encouraging churches to show the movie so that it could have the largest opening in I don't know ever I guess. I never heard how that worked out but the first two Left Behind movies where just BAD movies and I didn’t hold out much hope for the third being better. The Left Behind books stopped being something worth reading after the 3rd one and I never did bother to read the last one that came out. They became books preaching to me the exact same message over and over and over again. Characters where added just to be "saved" Then killed to drive home the exact same message. To the point where I had enough and after forcing myself to finish the second to last book I did not bother with the last. There are so many more lessons these books could have looked at. They could have been a tool for growth in believers and a springboard for questions fro non-believers but they where not. Instead, they preached to the point of turning off the few non-believers that I loaned my copies.

Frank Peretti does a much better job in his "This Present Darkness" books. Just by creating a story that, my friends want to read. There is a wealth of information about the enemy and about Christ, this information read by non-believing friends prompted some really good conversations, planted seeds that God will water in his time.

This weekend I have watched some movies. It is an, "I don’t feel good stay in bed and try to ignore how I feel kind of weekend." movies are a great way to do that.

I did watch Left Behind: World at War (Only because it was a free rental) it wasn’t as bad as the first two but still not a great movie. I would not bring a friend to see it at my church or anywhere else. It's a bad movie and to pretend that it isn’t would just be silly and make me look like a fool.

I did watch 2 movies that I have not heard any hype about to me spoke far more about Christ’s love and the nature of faith. The first is very old but restored and out on DVD. It is a silent movie starring Mary Pickford. It is called "Tess of Storm Country." Yes, it is a silent film. No, this does not mean it cannot reach today’s people. If anything, you have to watch and think a little more and this can create wonderful dialog. The message is there plain as day. The answers are in the Bible and faith in God and prayer are what sees us through the difficult times. Yes, there are some things that are false, like a baby who dies won't be seen by God unless he is "sprinkled" in the church. Well I know many who believe that, what a great chance to say to someone well I haven’t seen that in the bible let’s look for it. It is not there but in the course of looking the truth about Baptism will be read along with other truths. The movie doesn’t preach it is a story that captivates without any bashing of the bible upside the head or blatant "witness" practices. What is can do is lead to conversation and plant a seed for someone to ask more questions. I don’t know of anyone who was "saved" from the blatant bashing of "Left Behind" I do know several who where turned off by it.

The second my have had hype when it came out and I missed it. My circle has changed dramatically since the release of this movie. The movie is a "A Walk to Remember" I listened to the commentary by the Nick Sparks who wrote the book and he said it was hard to find the balance between being preachy and being true to who he wrote his characters to be. If you ask me, he succeeded. The story is all about faith grace and redemption. Love and living your life as close to Christ is also in there. He did not set out to write a book that would convert millions he wrote a story and what he believes and what the sister he used to base the main character on believes is in this story. The story captivated millions and the message heard without him ever preaching to them. The story touched my heart and it touched the heart of my co-worker who had seen it and brought it up to me long before I had watched the movie. The movie made her think about her faith and we had several talks about faith and God the sprung from things she had seen or heard. One of the most frequently brought up movies was "A Walt to Remember" The movie planted a seed she asked the questions and God will watered that seed by giving her one of his to answer her. She is a step closer to the Lord without having been bashed upside the head.

Let the art stand on it's own we don't need the hype. If it is good art, the message will be heard and God will take care of the watering. We don't need the next biggest and best way to compete with the world or to hype something to the point of ridicules

Lemon ade or a sour lemon

Leading up to the holidays after the Natural disaster we will call Thanksgiving I was talking with friend about the craziness of my family.

She looked at me at one point and said you are saner then you have a right to be how on earth did you grow up and turn out normal. I think I would have been a nut case if I was raised in your family.

I didn't have to think about the answer to that question I knew it. I am who I am and I have been healed the way I have been heal because of God's grace and love for me. I looked her in the eye and answered her. I told her my faith is what saved me. She asked how I could have any faith after what I have been through with them. She said I would be asking myself how can there be a God who would allow all of this to happen to me. She wondered how I can love God.

All of these are very good questions. Questions people who do not know God ask all the time. I was very happy to answer her from my heart and my experiences. I summed up with God can turn the most sour lemon into the best tasting lemon ade. That is what he is doing with my life.

She asked the best question of all she asked if he did it for me how come he doesn't do it for everyone. My answer Because I invited him into my heart and asked him to.

What started out as me moaning about wounds of the past and present turned into a conversation about God's love for us. How cool is that.

I don't often look to see the tiny ways that God uses me. I just try to walk the path strong in my faith and try to live my life as close to Christ as I can. By keeping Christ in the center of my life and actions when the situation arises I answer based on Christ because he is in the center of my heart and what I do. I was a witness for him without having to think about it because that was the truthful answer to her question.

I don't look for these conversations they just sort of happen, sometimes I don't even realize it at the time.

I notice the more centered my life is on Christ the more often the conversations just happen.