The other day I was driving home from a friends house and I was hit with some pretty intense pain. It was bad enough that I called my friend and said I will call you when I get home safe.

During that long drive scary drive I thought,not for the first time, "Just a day Lord one day without pain" I am in some kind of pain almost everyday of my life. If it is not my abdomen is my knee or a wicked headache. Most days it is all three.

I try so hard to keep up with life and push myself beyond my limits to do the things that need to be done and the things I want to do. I mask it as best as I can. Most days I am really feeling rather cranky and my level of comfort is very low. I try to endure with grace and be in the best mood I can muster. It does take it's toll after awhile. I reach a point where I just feel like I can't go on. I break down and cry and pray for it all to stop. Other days I am ok and understand that God has a reason for this. I need to endure this because it is part of his plan and he will use it for good somewhere along the line.

Well the other day I just lost it and I prayed so hard for just a day without pain. I prayed for it to all be over for him to call me home and not make me endure this any more.

I woke up the next day with a splitting head ache and my knee ached and I had sharp shooting pains in my stomach. I thanked God for the day and asked for the strength to make it through the day.

This morning I woke up and I found myself singing in the shower, I was in a great mood. I thought to myself wow I feel well rested, even though I stayed up way later then I should have. It struck me like a ton of bricks, I wasn't in any pain. Not my head or my knee or my abdomen. This day has been a true blessing, an answer to pray. I enjoyed today so much I didn't want it to end. After youth I enjoyed a simple dinner with a friend and wasn't struggling to focus on what was being said because my mind was on the pain. I am grateful for the friend who came out and enjoyed the dinner with me, I was in such a good mood, I felt like myself, I didn't want the day to end and just go home. I wanted to stay out a bit and enjoy it. I did, it was wonderful.

I don't know how long my respite will last but I am truly grateful for today. One day without pain is just such an amazing and joyous thing for me. I don't know if anyone can truly understand what today meant to me. I pray my respite is longer, but if it is not, I am just grateful for God's gift of today.

So I am a tiny bit weird. I bought a wreath today and as I drove home I realized if I put it on the front door I will never see it and what is the point of that. I decided to hang it on the inside of the front door. This way I can see and be happy.

Really I am not in the Christmas mood this year, those that have known me a long time will say what year where you in the mood. This year I am really trying to be. I bought and listened to Christmas music, I have found some perfect gifts for people I care about, my living room smells like pine and has a pretty wreath in it. I even talked to a friend who owns a tree farm about finding me a "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree" this year. I have thoughts of going in the attic and getting down the nativity scene. Ok so the attic is not something I can manage by myself, I can't get up there. Any volunteers to come over and get it down for me. :-D

It is not Christmas I dislike so much, it is the whole Santa thing and that it starts at the end of October now. That is what drives me crazy. Christmas use to be about Christ, good will towards all, and peace on earth. It seems that these days it is about shopping and who's yard has the biggest display of red plastic junk and twinkle lights, or what toy is the hot item that you must get for your child even if you have to push someone out of your way to get it.

I don't mind a Jingle Bell or Winter Wonderland song playing but Grandma got run over by a Reindeer come on what's so Christmas about that. I won't turn on a radio between now and the new year because the songs about Christ are never played (might offend someone with that you know) and what they do play has nothing to do with the reason for the season.

Call me a Grinch call me Scrooge I don't care, I miss Christmas and what it was all. This thing they call Christmas now well you can keep it. This year I am going to enjoy the holiday and I am going to keep it the way it is meant to be kept.