Humm where have I been?

Thanks to a couple of amusing Blokes in the UK I found myself figuring out what I think by writing a comment. During this process I realized how long it has been since I wrote on my own blog.

I think part of that is because I have been indulging the introvert in me. I really have not been in the mood to talk, think yes but to put those thoughts out there for others. I have thought out many blog posts that I never made and there have been comments on other people's blogs that I did not leave.
The other part is, well, life still sucks nothing has changed and I don't want to admit that. I am ready to go but waiting for God to say it is time. I am working on trying to be patient but alas I am not good at patient.

No false promise of posting more because I doubt I will. (hey least I am honest) but here is an effort at stepping out of my introvertedness into the world.

Today I spent some time making the guest list for my Birthday party. I thought of friends that have moved away that won't be there. The same friends that I have not done a good job of keeping in touch with. Life goes on, time and distance eroding away the once close relationships. I really need to make more of an effort when I move to keep in touch. I think my worse fear is to be gone for a few years and come home to find that I do not have a "home" any more, because I did not put the effort into keeping it. I did make the list and pass it on to the friends who are putting on this bash. :-) I am really looking forward to it. Think of it a party just for me! I have never had that strange as that may sound. I am looking forward to being the princess for just one day. Silly I know but it is something I have wanted since I was a little girl and it just never worked out before. So I am giddy with excitement.

After working on the list and commenting on the the blog I ran to the store to get some thing to serve the guys coming over tonight for small group. While I was in the store I was lost in thought. I remembered a day a couple of years ago while serving coffee how a customer gave me a HUGE tip like $20. The next day he told me why. It was in memory of his brother. He told me he is the kind of guy if you call him in the middle of the night stuck on the side of the road he would come get you in the morning, his brother was the kind of guy who would get dressed and come get you right then and there. He didn't even have to know you well. His brother always did random acts of kindness and since his brother died he tried to do that more often and made of point of doing so on the anniversary of his death. He had picked giving that tip as his random act that year. His story at the time made me think about me and random acts of kindness and I for awhile had made a pointed effort to do more little things for no reason other then kindness. I had not thought of that in awhile. While I was thinking I didn't notice the elderly women in front of me struggling to get her items onto the belt. By the time I did she was nearly done. I thought I should have helped her. She paid and headed out the door. The girl took care of me and I noticed as I walked to my car that the same women was struggling to get her bags out of the cart. This time I did not hesitate. I went over and helped. Handing the last of her bags to her. She was thanked me as I wheeled her carriage away. It will be a long time before I forget the surprised look on her face as I handed her the first bag. She was surprised and glad for the help. I think I made her day just a tiny bit better. I don't know what she thought I wished her a good day and went on my way. Over the years I have learned that it is the tiny things that make the biggest difference some times. I pledge today to do more random acts of kindness. Jay does it in memory of his brother I am in memory of Christ.