Sand Paper
In bible study last week. Beth Moore talked about how people we find aggravating are in our lives for a reason. The person who can't hear what you are saying no matter how often you say it or how many different ways you say it; The person you are sure God has put you in their life for a reason but, no matter how hard you try you can not communicate with them; The person who you love dearly and cherish that has the ability to drive you absolutely crazy (A gift that no others in the world posses) to the point where you behave irrationally in response to their actions or word; The person who is rude or hurtful beyond your ability to tolerate; these are all in your life for a reason. There may be one who fits them all or you may have many that fit some These people have a purpose in our lives that we may not see. The reason is they are the sandpaper that smoothes our rough edges.
Listening to Beth two people came to my mind. One is a customer at work, my dislike for this women is really irrational and I know this but her rudeness is more then I can tolerate and I have refused to wait on her. The other is a friend that I love but certain things about the way this person behaves really push me to the limits of my patients. No friend has tried my patients to the degree this one has. I have responded in irrational ways, because of things said done or not heard correctly on the other persons part, out of pure frustration. I listened and could see what Beth was talking about. I could see how the difficult, all but abandoned friendship had changed me. Some of my rough edges had been smoothed during the course of that friendship.
No lesson in this study convicted me the way this one did. I felt like she was talking directly with me. I think she may have written this one just for me every detail she said matched these two situations and my responses to them. I was embarrassed of some of my actions and my pride pricked more then I was comfortable with. Listening to this was VERY uncomfortable and VERY difficult because I could see how I came up short in both of these situations. I didn't like what I saw not one little bit.
The question I asked myself later is exactly what you think it would be, what do I do about it. The customer was easy, I started waiting on her. I am not rude to her but I can't say I am friendly either. I am trying to see this women through God's eyes. In the meantime I am curbing my temper. It is a first step in the right direction.
The friend is a different story completely. I had made a request via email last week and the request had been ignored. I was not aware that the request was being ignored, I assumed that the person had been away or to busy. To me the request was not a big deal and, until I was speaking with the friend and the friend was talking like my sending the email was wrong, I was unaware it was to her/him. I found myself annoyed with the response. I still don't understand what the big deal was and since I felt a argument brewing I ended the conversation. There where other pleasant things I would have liked to have brought up but I just couldn't see the point of trying.
I am tired of being wrong in all I do and say. When it comes to this person it would appear that I am not capable of anything I do being alright. I try to accept this friend for who they are. I try to just love her/him where she/he is. To me it seems that I am not worthy of the same respect in their eyes.
Beth Moore said in the end of the lesson that we should thank God for these aggravating people. I do thank God for this friend in particular there have been some wonderful things that have come out of it for me. I recognize how dealing with this friend has changed me. I thank God for those changes.
Being smoothed out by sandpaper hurts. I have the feeling I am a source of sandpaper in my friends life as well. I am far from perfect and I am aware of it. I try every day to be a better person.
I am not sure what the right thing to do in this situation is. I have no control over my friend but, I do have control over my actions and reactions.
If you are reading this and you recognize yourself my dear sandpaper, I do find you aggravating and I do get annoyed with you. That doesn't seem to matter much because I still care about you. You can aggravate me quicker and stronger then anyone else who walks this earth. I have prayed and asked God to allow me to stop caring about you. This is a prayer I must have prayed a few hundred times. If anything you have grown closer to my heart. I thank you my friend Sandpaper for helping to smooth the rough edges of me.
