When someone dies

It is easy to ask the question "Where was God?". Blaming God for all the things in life that we do not understand or do not like is easy. He is after all, all knowing.

During the past 24 hours I have had to explain that God was there and what omnipresent means to friends and family who lost someone they loved. Someone who was very troubled. Someone each of us tried to help but who made choices in life that just wasn't good for him. Jeff was a sweet heart of a guy. He would give any thing to anyone. He just couldn't help himself and he couldn't let others help him. This makes me sad. He had so much to offer and he never learned how to stand on his own two feet. He was sick and couldn't face the cure.

Those bad choices over the years have piled up and I guess he couldn't take it any more. The choice to not take it was his too. His final choice and method of running away from problems was to final for those who cared about him. Hanging is not the easy way out from my perspective.

God didn't kill him, he killed himself. All the words in the bible and all the comfort it has to offer doesn't do any good if the person you are talking to doesn't believe them.

I find peace and comfort in God's promises. I know that Jeff had the chance to hear the word of God. I know that he had the chance to choose Christ. That is one of God's promises. I know that right up until the end God was there offering him everything he needed. The choice to take it was up to Jeff.

I don't know what choice Jeff made. God knew his heart and I will trust in that.

What do I say to this family? They have been told to seek comfort in God that can be hard to do when you do not have a relationship with him. The comfort I find brings no comfort to them. It brings anger. "How could God have let this happen?" "If there was a God Jeff would not have had the problems he did."

I want to offer comfort I want to help these people I care about but I know that I can not. At least not right now. All I can do is watch. It breaks my heart to sit back and watch. The offer is there they know I am here. What more can I do?

For me I am still a bit on the numb side. I am spending my time trying not to think about all this. The past few days gave been rough on me emotionally. I know where to go for comfort and I know that the Lord is with me, being patient, offering me his love.

Where is God in all this mess? Right there by our side or carrying us through, of that I do not have a doubt.