The Memory is a Funny Funny Thing

In high school I went to a local Hungarian church from time to time. My best friends family attended the church and I was roped into helping with VBS and other church functions. I had not been there often but I figured that I could find the church today when I needed to be there. I had the wrong road and that lead to an interesting adventure. Good thing I had plenty of time before I needed to be there. I had no idea how many roads in the town I grew up with very similar names I was thinking of the cut off not the road that the church was on.

I called my brother and he talked me through two rotaries and there was the road. Thank God for brothers with good sense of direction.

Once I saw the church and the surrounding area I remembered it all. I felt a bit foolish for not finding it in the first place because it all looked just like I remembered.

Today was a trip down memory lane and not a pleasant trip one. I went back to this church because that friends mother passed away in may and the service for her was held today. Mrs. G's mother and other family still live in this area and due to the fact that Mrs. G. passed away in England it was easier for the family to come back here and have a memorial service.

I was greeted by Mr. G. with a hug and that surprised me. I found my friend and greeted as if no time had passed. That was good the ties that bind our friendship are deep ones and it was good to see her again.

The service started and I listened to these people talk about this women that I knew 20 years ago. They described this wonderful saint like women with a gift for loving and a gift for laughter and a deep faith. I was beginning to think I was at the wrong service. The women I knew had none of those gifts. One thing did ring true the speaker said she loved to find a bargain. That was true. It was her favorite thing to do I think. She would plan trips and find deals like no one else could. It was amazing the way she could sniff out a sale.

When all was said and done and I had a minute alone with my friend I asked her if I didn't know her Mom or if the people speaking didn't know her. I know my friend would have loved to have the women they described as her mom but she wasn't so lucky. She replies that she didn't know who they where talking about but it wasn't the women she knew.

I spent a lot of time with this family during my teen years. My friend spent a lot of time with my family during this time. I think my family did a better job of making her feel welcome. I always wanted her parents to like me. They never did. Truth is they hated me. The only reason I was invited to their home was they didn't want the daughter in my home. They wanted to keep an eye on us. Truth is we never did anything bad. We listened to music talked that is about it. We didn't drink or go to parties would never touch drugs. With each other we felt accepted and that was it. We didn't hang out with other kids we didn't get into trouble. We just enjoyed the peace of being with someone who loved the other as is.

I was nervous going today. In a way it didn't feel right to me to go. The women hated me. Blamed me for every thing that in her view was a mistake that her daughter made. Every choice she didn't agree with I made her daughter do it. The father felt the same way. There was just something so very fake about the whole thing. Hugging me like he was happy to see me. Like the nasty things he had said about me when we were kids never happened.

someone's memory of Mrs. G. was off today and I don't think it was mine. Could a person truly be that different when she was out in public from what she was like in her home? Did these people really not see her for who she really was? I often wondered why no one tried to help my friend. Protect her from the difficulties at home. How could they not have known? It would appear that they didn't.

I was just relieved that they didn't ask everyone to share a memory, try as I might I could not think of one.