Breaking the patterns...

We all have the little things we learned to survive growing up in our families, sometimes they are minor and don't really cause any harm, and sometimes they are larger and can damage our adult relationships.

My family doesn't like to come right out and say anything, we ambush each other, we trick each other, and we misdirect each other to the point where I don't take much of anything at face value.

I know from experience that accepting a dinner invite can have consequences that are just too high to pay. Each invite that I accept I leave myself open to being hurt, so I am careful very careful. I look at each dealing at face value then look deeper for the hidden meaning or intent. I look deeper still for the implications down the road.

I guess I suspect everyone of plotting an ambush or I worry that everyone will think I have intentions I don't have, that I am plotting an ambush. When this is what you grew up with as normal it is what you expect from everyone.

I need to maintain the level of caution with some, but I need to break the pattern with others. I try so hard to remember that my family is not normal and that there are some that I can trust and take at face value. They are who they are, and they are not going to change before my eyes.

What do you do when you don't even realize you are doing it? How do you break the pattern then?