I went somewhere today that I have not been in several years. I went alone but I figured I would run into people I know there. As I walked in I heard "hello Chris" I looked around to see who was saying hello. It was a former co-worker. This women made my life miserable for two years.
The story ends with this women being let go. The company used a reorganization to let her go with grace. I wasn't the only one that had problems with her and this didn't happen because of me but, her actions towards me where part of the reason they made the choice they did.
I never filed a formal complaint. I tried very hard to be kind in the face of her cruel behavior. She made the Sr. management aware of her treatment of me all on her own. She made the choice to speak to me in a very harsh manner and to say very inappropriate things to me right in front of a member of Sr management. My only response to the women was to ask her not to speak to me in that manner and if she had an issue with me to take her concerns to my boss and talk to her about them. I repeated this request several times in a calm voice. This only upset her more and she yelled even louder. Until the Sr management person felt she had to break it up.
This problem was taken to the President of the company without my knowledge and the women was written up based on witness interviews. I was questioned but came out smelling like a rose because my actions where above reproach. I was complimented for the way I handled myself and I was apologized to for the length of time this went on and the treatment I had endured.
I had talked to my boss about the problem and I had talk to her boss about the problem. The problem was her boss is one of my wise counsels and our relationship is a close one. There was concern about the appearance of favoritism. I did not want to create a problem for the women or get her into trouble. I just wanted the cruelty to stop.
The last person I wanted to run into today was this women. I cried many tears over the mean, nasty, hateful things that she had said to me. It took me by surprise the pleasant hello Chris from this women who made work a nightmare for such a long time. I said hello and moved on. When I left I said good bye and kept on walking.
I never asked her how she was or what she has been doing. Maybe I should have. This was another chance to show her Christ's love. I know that this women doesn't know Christ and I know that this women is lonely. The world has damaged her and she doesn't know the key to the cure.
While working with us she was surrounded by Christian women and every now and again would accept invites to things at our church. She admired her boss and I know that is why she hated me so much. She was jealous of our relationship. Prior to her becoming aware that we where close friends she was kind to me. It was only after she discovered that her boss and I attend the same church and serve together that she became cruel. The biggest change came after her boss through a party for me in her home. The party was for my Baptism and several of our co-workers came to the church and to the party after. The women's behavior towards me was drastically harsher after that.
I really don't hate her. I do not hold a grudge against her. I am not sure why I didn't stop and talk except that it did not occur to me until after I was gone.
I was preoccupied thinking about the last time I was at this particular place. I was thinking about the people I was with and it was sort of bitter sweet. I have changed a lot since the last time I was there. I never would have gone alone then. I made some discoveries the last time I was there about the people I was with and it was a great day. We had a lot of fun and we all enjoyed each others company.
It is a shame that change has to come with such a large price tag. I have paid the price and found that the cost was dear. I am happy with the change not so much with the cost.
No one ever said life was easy. I just sort of wish I wasn't so self absorbed that I wasn't a light for Christ today. The chance is lost to reach one more time to this women. Not sure if it came from me that she would be at all receptive but I could have invited her to the dinner theater we are having.
Lesson learned.
