I live in more then one world, the worlds that I live in do not mix or understand each other. The last few years I lived mostly in the Christian world. I worked in the real world but even there the women who sat closet to me where all Christians. I worked closely with a women who ran the Hospice department in the company and she also ran the women's ministry in my church. Last year I spent most of the year home or in church. My injury prevented me from working and my Christian life took over full force

Another world I live in is my family world. I must confess I have not been putting myself out there with them the way I should. The hurt of that world has been so deep that while I have forgiven much, I am also not prepared to be hurt again. My family loves me but does not understand me. The fighting and gossip and the hurtful words that come from them to each other and to me I find disheartening and I have avoided situations where I would find it.

The last world is the world of my friends before I had a Christian family, being a Christian in the mist of worldly friends was never easy. I did not do all the things they did and I tried hard to live a Godly life. Thing of it is that was ok with them. I often felt left out but I was left out because they knew the situation was not one I would be comfortable with.

The past few months I have found that I am living mostly in the world of my worldly friends. Being back at work in the place I worked in my early 20s is strange. I have changed. God has been shaping me and growing me over the past few years. He put me in a safe Christian environment to provide what I needed while he work his magic on me. I have gain tools and knowledge and healing that I needed.

These changes have been happening to me slowly and over a long time in one sense and in another sense they have felt rapid and drastic. I feel like I barley get comfortable in my skin and God puts a new challenge in my life to grow me some more.

I have recently been thinking about how these different worlds have reacted to the changes in me. My closest Christian friends have seen and encouraged me through it. There are other Christian friends that seem to see me the way I was and can not see the changes. My family understands me even less the before and has reacted with harsh and unkindness. Not so much immediate family it is the extended family which is the source of the hurt. The people of the world see a confidence in me and a certainty of faith that has some of them coming to me the way I would go to my wise counsel.

Something was said to me by someone whose opinion I placed value about a flaw in my character. For a moment I took this to heart. Thought perhaps I need to work on this and this person was right. Then I thought there has been stress and pain in this relationship and maybe I should seek an objective view.

I asked 4 friends who I knew would tell me the truth in love if I asked them too. I asked one man from my Christian life and one women from my Christian life, both know the person who made the comment. I also talked to a man from the world and women from the world who have known me for a very long time.

The Christian man said if I saw that as a pattern in you I would tell you. I do not see that as a pattern. The Christian women said pretty much the same thing. The man of the world told me that he knows that I have a temper and that he knows that I know I have a temper and therefore work very hard to control and it and work even harder to not react from anger. When you are angry you talk to friends and vent that anger before dealing with the situation so that your anger doesn't get the best of you. My female friend from the world laughed and said YOU! Oh my God that is sooo funny. You are the last person I would describe that way. If anything you do not get angry enough. Someone has to push you very hard and far for you to react out of anger. There are times when you have not gotten angry about things that would really piss me off and I have thought you should. You are the most patient person I know.

The different worlds view me differently and the things I do and the role I play in these worlds are different. It is good to know that the core of who I have become shows in all those worlds. The confidence I have in who I am, the evolution of most of the relationships in my life reflect in these changes. While there are still times when I do not feel comfortable in this new skin of mine. It is strange and new and my reactions even surprise me from time to time.

I know the next challenge, the next growth spurt lies just around the corner. I also know that whatever it is God will handle it. He will make me a better person for it and bring me even closer to him. Thank you God for handling everything in my life for giving me the gift of all these worlds where people love me.