A fever can make the brain think odd things.
I passed out at work and spiked a fever shortly after I came home. Yes for those of you who know me well enough to wonder if I was smart enough to leave early, I did.

After some rest I was chatting with a friend on IM. (which if I didn't say it while we where talking I am glad I stayed in that chat room talking to you about what jerks guys are too) We talked about some things that are deep desires of my heart. The deep seeded longings that are a part of all of us.

These are things that I have not thought to much about in the past few months because there isn't much that can be done about them and it really isn't something that is wrong. More like a longing a desire for more that just isn't something that God wants me to have right now.

I do not know the reasons but I do trust that Gods reasons are good. That God has my best interest at heart. I may desire to have the longing filled but maybe I am not ready for it.

While the things we talked about are things I deeply desire I also think if I was given them right now it would scare me to death. I am not sure I could handle it. I wouldn't know what to do with it.

Through the cloud of the fever I put more thought into this then I have in a long while. My friend probably thinks I am a bit crazy, that is ok we all have a bit of crazy in us. :-) I know that the things I long for are met God meets then for me everyday. I am never alone because he cares about all the little details of my like and I am very important to him. Fever thoughts can be very clear sometimes. :-)

Here is the other thing that I thought about after our chat. I shared a piece of my deepest heart with someone. This is the kind of thing a person tends to keep to themselves. I trusted another with something very deep and dear. Not many on the face of this earth that I would share this kind of thing with.

Took a risk today, as long as my friend doesn't think I am too crazy I think is was a good one.