Renne Posted on her blog "i don't do very well with letting people help me. i would rather die trying to do it myself than graciously accept another person's kindness. tonight was a great lesson in friendship, and in letting go of my pride and stubborn independence. thank you leslie, rose, and will. you made our christmas beautiful, and you taught me a lot about letting myself be loved"

This got me thinking about the journey I have been on this year. Last Christmas I spent the day alone waiting to go to the hospital the next morning to have the bone I shattered a few days before replaced. I was in pain and I really couldn't move around. The meds had me feeling rather sick. I was very unhappy and I was very scared. I waited until late it was after 9pm before I called a friend just to share how I was feeling. She surprised me by hopping into her car a driving over here to help me prepare for my stay at the hospital and just to come and be a friend and love me.

I am not very good at letting people help me, but I am better at it. This past year of not being able to do for myself and having to let others help me has taught me a lot.

First off, I know who my friends are. They are the ones who showed up and kept showing up. They did so much for me when I couldn't do it for myself. They made me rely on them. Sometimes they just came to make me laugh. They showed up when my family did not.

I learned to ask them for the things that I need. Simple things like changing my sheets where so far out of my ability and yet it needed to be done.

This year I am walking but there are still somethings I just can't do. Instead of going without, I asked. Thanks to kindness of people who care. I have a tree it is up and it has all the trimmings on it that I want. The star from the tree of my childhood is sitting on the top. It is just perfect.

When I am sad or lonely I call a friend instead of sitting by myself. Life is a far less lonely and sad place when you let others love you and when you let them into your life.

I found out the other day that I have gone down 2 pant sizes the other day. That was very good news indeed. I am not doing anything special, just eating right and eating small meals through the day. I still have a hot dog when the mood strikes me. My favorite hotdog stand just opened up right down the road from where I work. Gourmet Magazine rated them "one of America's ten best hot dog joints", and it's true. They have one called the Georgia Red Hot it is Sausage, Sauerkraut, Mustard, Sweet Relish. The relish is made from scratch and it is just about the best thing I have ever eaten. Most everything they make is from scratch right down to the fries. This is very good news because I use to drive 25 minutes to go get a dog and now they are 5 minutes away. This is also bad news because every time I wanted a dog I didn't take the ride but 5 minutes is soooooo very close. I may give in more often then I should.